Yet Another Software Junk | മറ്റൊരു പാഴ്‌ജന്മം

If I were Thomas Alva Edison, you might be still in Darkness.

Once I asked my mother "How could you stay with your mother-in-law for 19 long years!!!"

I continued "Did you effectively treated her as your mother?"

"NO Never...she is my mother-in- LAW only". Her answer suprised me.

"My mother might be ready to forgive me, if I did something wrong..she might be ready to forgive me ..if I ignore her..." She explained "..But this woman is my mother-in-law only... So I never want a mistake from my side... I cared her more than I did for my mother". She continued her theory. She was sure that her mother-in-law used to get hurt easily it seems.

It was not easy to live in a huge family. I had witnessed her struggles. She might got firing from my grandmother for not replacing something in place. The same thing might be in use with somebody. But in Grandma’s point of view she saw my mom taking it. Now, it is neither in my mom's hand nor in the place!!! or my mother don't know where it was either. Obviously she got mistaken. Also Grand Ma was very particular about using oil in kitchen. If she found slightly over use, who ever last used it got the punishment. Real root cause might be somebody else!!!

The reason for firing might vary for different issues from not ironing grandpa's shirt to giving extra something to the servants. It might be my mom's fault or somebody else’s fault. No matter... all daughter-in-laws has to share their part of punishment.

I even fed up with the ration system in the big family. x number of soaps, y number of bar-soaps, z number of ABC etc per family per month. I had waited till 9th to get a full egg !!! it is a kind of 'CMM level'... 9th std and above get full egg. 3rd and above get half egg others get 1/4th etc. this list may extend to a couple of pages.

All of these may happen round the clock everyday. Still nobody said a word against Grandma. She (mother-in-law) treated her daughter-in-laws equally. Otherwise with a thinner physique my grandmother can not control her seven daughter-in-laws in a raw. That too different types of women. She could be a great manager ;-)

Were my mother and aunts fools to obey a woman in 60s (even she couldn't walk fast)? Can't they ignore her? Can't they fight with her? Were they so dumb?

They (1) tolerated for the peace of their husbands. Their children. More over, they cared her age. They had a simple theory too... "Without two hands you can not clap.... to make a sound"

Can we give full mark to my mother or to aunts or to grandma for making peace in the family? (to be continued...)

(1) 'They' is a general term. There are a couple of exceptions.

Tail: Thought of my cousin motivated me to scribble down this.
She is living with her husband (who is a single-ton son of his parents) in a rented house. It didn't take even 7 months to separate her husband from his lovable parents. Pennerumbittal ennu kettetteyulloo (If woman decides!!!). Avalu aare kandu padichathanavao? (From where she learnt to do this?)

But frankly, I have no wonder !!!!
How can you expect a woman to obey/respect her mother-in-law if she is not even obeying/respecting her own mother?!!!!


hai joju,
tell me frankly,do you want to show this to your would be, whom your parents searching for? i feel so :)
any ways it is very nicely written.

Sir this is foregivable to an extent. Actually i cannot live without internet nowadays. So i do feel that what would happen if my parent's would force me to marry a lady who knows how to use computer, I mean checking mails. She will think "Ithiyaane kondu thottu... Full time netilaanallo!!!!". Dont make this situation. And I hope u are far better than me in handling situation. Well I liked your blog entry...

John bhai,

If you think so, it *must* be correct only. who knows me better than you !!!

But hold is a series of articles.
Still I am not sure whether or not to reveal my YaSJ identity to 'her' but there is a chance ...

Any matter I needn't teach my mother to handle!!! In fact she was teaching me over years "HOWTO"



You have 4 or 5 years more not to worry about this.

Are you echoing the general tendency to find fault with daughter-in-laws for not getting along with mother-in-laws.. Do guys still tend to forget that their wives are individuals who too needs respect, love and care.. Are you forgetting that they were not just born as they are today but brought up in a different environment than yours and have her own parents and likings and ways of life.. Just bcoz she married somebody, is she supposed to forget all that and adjust to a completely different environment.. How will u feel if you are put in a different family asked to love and respect everybody there, stand everything that everyone tells you there when u never had anything to do with the people there till the day before.. when u never even knew then till yday... Put yourself in a abride's shoes before expecting her to get along with your parents just becoz she decided to love you and live with you.. Isnt it always a better idea to start your own home and just taking care of both parents as required than having one person have everything and one loose everything when the two decided to live together?? I dont know your cousin or her character.. but generally i dont think she did anything wrong in setting up their own home... Whether u are a single son or have brothers, understand that u r marrying a girl who might be coming from a different background and dont expect her to love or live with ur parents just bcoz they are ur parents.. think how willing u will be to live with her parents for a entire lifetime before expecting to her to do that....

A daughter-in-law :)


Thanks for your kind time to give me a feedback.

As you see I am nobodies son-in-law. So I guess, you got more clear picture about xxxx-in-laws.

I am neither against any daughter-in-laws nor supporting all mother-in-laws. I know... it is tough to adjust with some charactors which we don't know earlier.

btw you needn't know all about my cousin. but one...
She has no respect/care to her mother.

That is why 'I' am asking 'myself'...

"How can you expect a woman to obey/respect her mother-in-law if she is not EVEN obeying/respecting her own mother?!!!!"

That is my point. I didn't intend to blame a daughter-in-law but a 'daughter' herself.

Hope that you will not say...
We needn't respect our own mother just because she is our mother.

It is my fault that I delayed the second part of this one. Hopefully I'll publish it within next couple of days to make my idea about xxxx-in-laws. sorry is not my ideas... but the living examples… they are luckily my mother and father.


nee ingane ippo ezuthan karanam njangakkariyam.

Makane Deepakke... ariyavunna karyagal vilichu parayalladai.. :-)

Hope that you will read and comment its next part too.